Never date a writer…

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

Oh you poor thing, you fell for their words, didn’t you? The way they made you feel beautiful with their colourful metaphors and special with their poems. Congratulations, you’re screwed. Welcome to the dark side.

  1. Writers can make everything sound beautiful, so chances are, you aren’t really that special. You just happen to be around.
  2. Everything around them is a potential blog / IG post. You think they’re looking at you with interest, but really in their heads, there’s a description being typed out of just how they’d love to go skinny dipping in the deep pools of your eyes.
  3. Of course you’ll love the words they dedicate to you. But you’ll also spend a lifetime wondering if there’s any truth behind the words that weren’t dedicated to you.
  4. They write about heartbreaks more easily than love. Remember that.
  5. And if you make the mistake of breaking their heart – oof, know that you will be immortalized as a poem, a monument of words will be erected in the honour of your has-been relationship, and you may be faced with the bitter truth – that your absence fuels their creativity much more than your presence ever could.

P.S. I wanted to end this on a positive note, on how it’s actually wonderful to date a writer, but, nah, this just seems more fun.

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