Of dreamless sleep and sleepless nights

I just spent the entire day sleeping, or on Netflix. I mean, sure, maybe that’s justified given the crazy past ten days of a big fat Punjabi wedding – full of loud music, sleep deprivation, and I swear I’ll shout out loud the next time someone asks me to dance on dhol – but what do I do about that guilt brewing inside me now? That guilt of whiling away a day doing absolutely nothing when everything around me demands my attention?

The house is a mess, for starters, it’s beyond embarrassing at this point, with the guest room now simply a dumping ground for all our baggage – physical only, I mean, at least you don’t actually see the emotional baggage (though the room would be much less messy if it were full of emotional baggage, no?) I literally patted myself on the back for actually doing laundry and ordering groceries online. THAT’s the level of work that I got done today. And as I try to convince myself that it’s perfectly fine that I did literally nothing, I really can’t let go of the absolute guilt of ignoring that novel of mine – the one that has been hiding in the corners of my laptop for ages now.

What right do I have to talk about having dreams, when all I’ve done all day is sleep?

How do you keep yourself motivated with the world dragging you down?

Ugh, I haven’t been to yoga in ages either.

Yup, this guilt is going to be the end of me.

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